The Things You Find On Google
by BananaphoneBob
Summary: Naruto's on a high, Sakura's left to babysit him and Sasuke's insulted. What a wonderful day they had. Trust me, story is a LOT better than the summary! R&R! SasuSaku! One-Shot


**Hello once again, my fellow writers and readers! I literally got this idea like **_**now**_** and I really wanted to write it because it's well … funny =)**

**You know the drill at the end of this, read, review, and … re-read … I dunno I'm making this up as I go along, but please, review this, I don't think I'm very good at funny fics and I'll need your help if I want to write any more.**

**Disclaimer: None of my fics have appeared in the anime or manga, so it's most likely that no, I do not own Naruto. Nor do I own the wonderful Google, or the results I found.**

**Also, I do not mean to offend anyone or if it turns out someone who wrote the Google result I chose then I'm sorry. So yeah no offence to anyone, this is strictly for humour uses only.**

**Enjoy!!**

**The Things You Find On Google.**

Sigh.

When Kakashi-sensei told me I had to look after someone while they were on a hype, why did I agree to it again?

Oh right.

Because it was Naruto.

And Naruto was my friend.

I sat at his dining table, lazily watching him bouncing off the walls (quite literally) and smashing and breaking practically everything he owns.

It was a good thing he lost his mind and sanity before he went AWOL.

Knowing how this was going to end (due to past experiences) I grabbed my bag, locked his (extra Naruto-proof) front door, and dodged and ran towards his bedroom (which was also strongly Naruto-proof. I love Tsunade for providing me with such protection during my stays).

Once inside, I locked that door too, and turned around to face a pig sty.

I should've been expecting this.

I ran a hand through my pink hair (an action I've been forced to do a lot) and placed my bag on his cluttered bed, and started picking up clothes (not the boxers and such; I may be his friend but I'm still a woman), ramen pots and the occasional pieces of other food such as cheese and biscuits; it's almost as if he _wants_ rats to infest his house, knowing fully well that happened (again) he would be forced to stay at my house, since no one trusts Kakashi that well and Sasuke … well, is Sasuke.

And he would have to spend another month or so in my house … eating my things … playing around with my things … and still attempting to ask me out on dates … even when he knows I have a boyfriend ...

Naruto you sly fox.

'_**So he can't think strategically when we're on a B-S rank mission, but he can think cleverly when it comes to being closer to us? Man that boy's dumb.'**_ My Inner replied without me realising. I blocked her from my thoughts once again as I cleared all the food from the floor, stuffing it into a relatively large bin that we insisted he got once we all first saw the mess he could make.

Once his room was in a better (still hardly worthy of being called clean) state, I went back to my bag and pulled out my shiny laptop.

I love my shiny laptop.

I called it Betty.

A secret that shall never be revealed to _any_body.

I opened Betty up (very carefully) and turned it on. While I waited for it to load, I realised that the walls had stopped shaking and there was no more hysterical laughter coming from downstairs.

I unlocked six of the locks, leaving one on for safety measures, and opened the door a fraction. I listened intently, yet no sounds were heard, and his chakra was no longer all around the house and crazy, but calmer and more subtle. I knew he hadn't left (escaped) the house, not even Naruto would be smart enough to realise that he'd only have to unlock the locks to leave which was why, as was said before, the house was completely and utterly Naruto-proof.

I sighed in relief and unlocked the last lock, believing that it was safe, and looked up to see Naruto's face staring right back at me, a grin plastered from ear to ear and eyes wide.

If this were a movie, he'd look slightly homicidal.

"HEY SAKURA-CHAN!"

I flinched at his deafening voice.

"Gee, Naruto. You should learn to be a little less loud when talking to someone _less than 3cm away._"

He cowered at the threatening tone in my voice, before regaining his composure and smiling just as brightly as he did last time.

"Sorry Sakura-chan! I won't do it again! BELIEVE IT!"

In fear of my eardrums breaking, I did the only thing I could do.

Bash him on the head for being such an idiot.

"OWW! Sakura-chan! That's not very nice!"

"Neither is deafening your teammate and my girlfriend, yet you do that every day."

Naruto and I turned our heads to face the newest arrival in Naruto's … humble … abode.

"Hey! Teme that's not true! I don't deafen anybody, right Sakura-chan?"

*Tumbleweed*

"Owww! Sakura-chan why do you keep hitting me? You'll give me brain damage!"

"I highly doubt that's possible, dobe."

"Thanks tem – wait … HEY!"

I rolled my eyes and went back into Naruto's bedroom to go on my laptop (ahh my beloved Betty), fully aware that my charming boyfriend and Naruto followed me in.

Naruto plopped down lazily beside me and put his head on my shoulder, watching me make my mouse go in circles on the screen. I suddenly realised that I had nothing to do now I was on it; I'd normally research medical things such as illnesses and diseases and search for possible cures for the aforementioned, but there was no way I would be able to concentrate on that now.

I shrugged Naruto's head off of my shoulder, ignoring his protests of how comfortable it was, and everyone fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence.

*More Tumbleweed*

"OH! I know what we can do!"

And with that, Naruto delightfully shoved me aside, grabbing Betty (Noooo!) and going to Google.

I yelped as Naruto's unexpected force almost pushed me off the bed, until a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist to support me.

I thanked Sasuke, blushing all the while, and straightened myself back on the bed, with Sasuke's arms still protectively around my waist, and I couldn't help but notice him glaring at Naruto every now and then.

I _love_ having a protective boyfriend.

Who is also Sasuke Uchiha.

Win-win situation for me.

We watched Naruto type in 'Naruto is' on the search engine, and looked at each other with eyebrows quirked up.

"Look, this'll be awesome! I've seen some funny things come up when I saw Ino do it once, so I decided to copy her to pass the time. I'm genius, aren't I? Go ahead, you can say it!"

I looked back at Naruto with a light smile on my face "You watched someone else do something, and you're doing the exact same thing they did … and you're calling it genius?"

"More like copyright."

I giggled as Sasuke muttered under his breath, causing him to flash the amazing heart-melting smirk that he knew I loved so much.

Naruto scrunched his face up and turned back to my laptop, waiting for the results to load.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Searching~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Search results for 'Naruto is'**

**NARUTO IS HOT NOW HOT? – Yahoo! Answers.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Search Ended~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto stared at the screen as a huge smile plastered on his face.

I stared at the screen with disbelief written all over my face.

Sasuke looked unfazed, but only I could notice the slight twitch in his right eye.

"Believe it! People think I'm hot! Oh yeaaaaah, go meeeeeee" We looked away quickly as Naruto started his little victory dance.

10 minutes later…

Once Sasuke and I decided it was safe enough to look again, we glanced at Naruto who was sitting cross-legged on the bed in front of Betty, ready to type in someone else's name in.

"Hmm … I'm gonna do Sakura-chan now hehe."

I watched as Naruto wrote my name into Google, and I knew from this moment I would probably be scarred for life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Searching~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Search results for 'Sakura is'**

**WikiAnswers**** – If Sakura is not the one for Sasuke then who is? **

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Search Ended~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto chuckled.

I gaped.

Sasuke coughed before tightening his grip on my waist.

"What…?"

I said in a _very_ low, threatening voice, ready to destroy Google (if I could never hurt Betty) at the click of a finger.

I noticed Sasuke's hands tightened even more as he leant me closer to him so that he could whisper in my ear.

"Just ignore it, it's only Google, and we both know that you're the one for me, so forget about it."

Surprised he'd say something that … cheesy … I relaxed in his arms and leaned my head against his chest, closing my eyes, waiting for Naruto to go off that webpage.

"Umm … okay then … let's do Sasuke-teme!"

I opened one eye at Naruto before the other one followed suite and I leaned closer to my laptop, curious to see what kind of fangirl things he would have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Searching~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Search results for 'Sasuke is'**

**YouTube – Sasuke is U.G.L.Y**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Search Ended~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto laughed hysterically.

I held onto Sasuke's arms.

Sasuke clenched his fists

"Sasuke-kun … just ignore it. It's only –"

"I'm going to _kill_ Google. It will suffer a death more painful than Itachi's."

And with that said, he took his arms from around my waist, pushed Naruto off the bed (which was only so easy because he was laughing so hard) and picked up my laptop.

My _shiny_ laptop.

My _Betty_.

"Umm … Sasuke-kun … Y-you don't have to go that far … put Betty down … p-p-please …"

He looked at me, Sharingan activated, only to put the laptop down (quite forcefully, might I add) on the bed and sat down beside me, blood red turning into onyx as I wrapped myself around one of his muscular arms.

"Don't let it get to you, Sasuke-kun. It's only Google being mean. You are nowhere near ugly, so don't worry about it, okay?"

I planted a kiss on his cheek and he glanced at me from the corner of his eye. He smirked and put his free arm around my waist, as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

Only one thing was ruining this moment, so I painfully kicked said thing in the stomach, causing him to double over in pain with a shout of "Sakura-chan! What did you do that for?" before he clambered back onto his bed and glanced at what was written on the computer screen in front of him, before falling back down in another fit of laughter.

I couldn't help but sigh knowing that this was as good as it was ever going to get.

But this was good enough for me.

"Umm … Sakura … who's Betty?"

**Okay, this turned out to be an absolute FLOP, so before you review asking me what was wrong with my head at the time, I'm not sure. This isn't even the SasuSaku fluff fic that I was attempting to try out (and halfway through) that kinda just happened without me even realising. **

**The only reason I'm putting this on FanFiction is because I didn't want to delete everything I'd written (when I could've been writing The Wrong One or my fluff-shot) so yeah …**

**But please review and tell me what you think! I did not make the results up, they may not be the first thing there but it's under '____ is' at some point. I picked the ones that I thought were funniest/best to use. Again, sorry if I offended anyone or anything, it wasn't intention, I love Sasuke so I don't mean to offend him … **

**~Author Notes~**

**~Betty the laptop is completely random and made up, my laptop is called Freddie, and I thought it would be sweet if Sakura had Betty the Laptop coz … she's the kind of person to name inanimate objects lol. Or she is in my world.**

**~Sasuke being all overprotective when all Sakura's gonna do is fall off a bed was just too adorable to **_**not**_** write, so … I wrote it.**

**~Sasuke almost murdering Betty was just his way of saying 'I am **_**not**_** ugly!' because he's egotistical and vain and thinks far too much of himself. Humour, see =)**

**~Naruto's hyperness was caused by whatever you want it to be caused by, sweets, ramen, fear of Ramen Man, or just generally being around Sakura. Whatever you want =)**

**~Also, his room being really messy just reminded me of that time in the anime when Sakura comes to get him and she finds cockroaches and … yeah so basically like that …**

**I think that's pretty much all the points answered, if you want to know something, ****REVIEW**** or send a message (but I'd strongly prefer the review)**

**Anyway I'm getting back to my fluff-shot and chapter 6 of The Wrong One! No time to dilly-dally.**

**Over and Out =)**

**-x-Emma-x-**


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